I recently published a blog on how to simplify the dating process through shifting your mindset to view it as a process of sorting: You meet someone new and they’re either a fit for you (both in terms of personality traits and interest) or they’re not. And in writing this post, my gears began to turn on another, more powerful and clear-cut analogy that can and should be applied by everyone: The process of dating is no different than the process of completing a puzzle.

If you’ve ever done a puzzle, you’ve undoubtedly tried to fit the wrong piece into the wrong spot more than once. And whenever that happened, what was your reaction? Did you condemn the puzzle piece for not fitting? Did you whip out the box cutter and attempt to alter the piece so that it would? Did you shame the puzzle piece for not being different? For not being good enough to fit this spot? For having the specific cutouts and protrusions that it did rather than the ones necessary to be a match?

Or did you take the piece in question and try to fit it into another open space, and then another, and then another, and then another, until you finally found its preordained parking spot? 

If you’re feeling bad about a relationship that went south or currently in hot pursuit of someone who doesn’t want to be with you, this couldn’t be a more perfect metaphor to lean into: Go where you fit.

You are a glorious puzzle piece with your own unique shape that was made to fit seamlessly with another. And when something isn’t a natural match, trying to change yourself to make it one puts you at risk for winding up where you don’t belong and compromising the whole puzzle. Your correct space is out there, and it isn’t with that person who stopped talking to you without explanation. It isn’t with that person who continuously breadcrumbs you. It isn’t with that person who can’t commit to you. It isn’t with that person who won’t respect your needs or boundaries. It isn’t with that person who can’t or won’t give you what you need.

If someone doesn’t embody the type of person you want to be with for any reason, whether it be their character traits or their interest in you, it not only means they aren’t a fit for you - but that someone else is. It doesn’t mean you’re flawed, unlovable, not good enough or in need of drastic change…

You’re just. Not. A. Fit.

And that’s about all I wanted to say here. This is obviously a shorter post, but I really just wanted to drive home the fact that you can’t force love and connection where it doesn’t naturally exist, and trying to do so only screws with the predestined order of things and delays your meeting with the right person even longer. When it becomes apparent that interest and/or overall connection isn’t there with someone you’re seeing, take that as your cue to move on to someone else who might actually be a match. Not as encouragement to force yourself to fit into a place where you’re not meant to be.

You’re a one-of-a-kind, gem of a human that was specifically designed to align seamlessly with the right person…you just have to allow yourself to find them. Now fly fly, my rare little personally empowered puzzle piece. Your match is waiting.

All my love.